There is something wonderful & bright about lemon & lime in the springtime. Sitting out on the back deck of one of my fave restaurants with dear friends. A bit of leftover chill left in the wind, but the sun's heat winning out, beating down on my shoulders and kissing my face & neck. Hearing the river trip & fall over each other as it runs its course. The only remainder of winter is the slightly snow capped Whistler mountains, while the rest of the snow has melted & is fueling the already rushing waterfalls. The forest storing up sunshine & vibrantly showing off its colors. Every soul that can is out and about, biking, climbing, running, strolling, or rolling around on the grassy knolls, reading a book or being twitterpated. 

Yes, I have a plethora of more than slightly cheesy spring-time references, & am willing to use them if you still don't understand my love for warmth and growth. 

Speaking of growth! Garden growth . . . 

sugar peas.

swiss chard. 
(this baby withstood the winter! kudos)

potatoes.

carrots.

broccoli.

kale.

red bowl, red pants. kale ready for salad-life.
 (just found a new dressing that is to die for! new post coming soon)

dark beets.

butter lettuce (with a few spinach plants on the left).

onions & garlic.

my sunday afternoon. enjoying the sun & company of my best friend between church services. we have just moved our services to The Ledge Cafe (our coffee shop downtown) & added a night service. loving being right in the heart of the community!

Back to lemon lime bars. I have this weird habit or reading a recipe for something that involves lemon & instinctively adding lime as well. They just go together, ya know? You know. The crust is softer shortbread with a bit of brown sugar for chew overall depth. If you decide to add zest to the sugar in the crust or the filling, you have my approval; nay, encouragement. (nay? Oy . . . )

Making these wee'uns for church tonight. Might bring the leftovers to a friends' house so we can eat them around the fire pit. Because, it's springtime, after all.

Lemon Lime Bars
makes medium squares or 18 small squares

Crust:
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup of granulated sugar
1/4 cup of packed brown sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
Pinch of salt

Lemon filling:
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cups of sugar
6 Tbsp of all purpose flour
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup lime juice
Powdered sugar for topping

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a 13x9 inch pan with parchment paper and set aside. 

To make the crust: In the bowl of a stand mixer beat together butter and sugars until pale and fluffy, 3-5 minutes. Stop, scrape down and add the flour, & salt. Beat on low until dough comes together. Dump the dough into the pan and flatten out with your hand until the base is level. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until slightly browned.

To make the filling: While the crust is baking, In a medium bowl whisk together the eggs and sugar until pale and light. Add the lemon juice, lime juice, & flour. Whisk until completely incorporated. Remove the baked crust from the oven and immediately pour the prepared filling over the crust. Return to the oven and bake for 22-25 minutes or until browned around the edges and no longer wobbly in the center. Cool completely in pan before cutting.

After it comes out of the oven sprinkle lavishly with the powdered sugar.

The bars will stay fresh in an airtight container, in the fridge for up to 4 days.

Source: inspired by Joy the Baker
Listening to: Arrested Development, Season 3

I had to leave for a bit. I had to give myself a time-out to figure out what was going on inside me. In the midst of the chaos of life, my voice was going through a growth spurt, or a transition phase of sorts. I didn't have a clear direction of where I was going with this blog, and knowing that, it was very difficult for me to move forward. It felt directionless with no end, and a slight loss of purpose. Not that there was no purpose, but I seemed to have lost sight of it amidst all the other rig-a-ma-roll. But now I seem to have gained back a bit of my gumption and a fresh look at my purpose. I think it is healthy to take a step back every once in a while, look at areas of your life objectively, & ask yourself the whats, hows, whens, & whys. These things are your motivation & give you your direction. I was writing without a direction, & after some time, conviction, prayer, and getting lost in dreams of where my life is headed, & have come up on the other side ready to put pen to paper.

In the beginning of April, Matt & I traveled to Orlando, FL for the Gospel Coalition conference. Getting out of the rain and being immersed in humidity & sunshine was pure bliss! Even though we spent most of our time in a conference room, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. But the best part of the trip was getting to hear some of our favorite authors, speakers, & preachers (John Piper, D.A. Carson, Tim Keller, Matt Chandler, & Paul Tripp, to name a new) teach about what it is to be on mission for Christ in every area of your life, & teach about the gospel of Luke. It was so inspiring & eye-opening! To all of a sudden have my eyes opened to a new way to look at the life of Jesus was remarkable. I saw with such plain clarity Jesus' resolve to go to the cross, that nothing would detain or misdirect him. Some religions believe that he was simply a good teacher, and even some "Christians" believe that he was put on this earth to teach morals & ethics, but nothing could be further from the truth! Yes, he did teach us those things, but that was never his purpose. His purpose? The Cross. To give mankind a chance. Because without Jesus & his sacrifice, we would be absolute toast! His intense love in saving us blows me away. 

What else has happened recently? Well . . . 

These night stands got a makeover.

These Corona bottles got string tied around them, lit on fire, and turned into lil glasses. 

This soil has been composted, tilled, planted, and we now have little sprouted seedlings. I have discovered that my husband is the green thumb in our family, which, btw, is kinda hot.
(Pictures coming soon!) 

The bike has been taken on adventures, & we're thoroughly enjoying finding the glories in the nooks and crannies of Creation. 

Whole wheat cranberry newtons were made. I don't know if I've told you this, but I have a thing for the Newton. So much so, that a fella once told me his feelings & gave me Newtons. 

It's a big love. 

Dough gets made, chilled, rolled, spread upon, and folded. 
Oh Newton, you just look delicious up close & personal. 

Now you see them, now you don't. 

Whole Wheat Cranberry Newtons
makes about 40 cookies

1 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
3 ounces butter, softened
1/2 cup + 2 T brown sugar, packed
1 T whole milk
2 eggs
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

for filling:

1 bag (12 Oz. Bag) Cranberries
1 cup Cranberry Juice (or orange, apple or any other juice combination)
1 cup Pure Maple Syrup (not pancake syrup!)
1/4-1/2 cup granulated sugar (depending on whether or not you prefer your filling sweeter)
3 Tablespoons Juice (you could also do orange zest, lemon zest, lemon juice – anything citrusy)

Cream together the brown sugar and butter. Add the cream and beat until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one by one, beating after each addition.

In a separate bowl, combine the dry ingredients. Add to the butter and sugar mixture and mix until a soft dough forms (be careful not to over-mix). Turn dough out onto a floured countertop and form a smooth ball. Let chill in fridge for 2-4 hours, or overnight.

Meanwhile, back on the farm . . . 

Wash bag of cranberries under cool water, then dump into a medium saucepan.
Pour in 1 cup of cranberry juice (or whatever juice you choose).
Pour in 1 cup maple syrup.
Add orange juice (you could also do orange zest, lemon zest, lemon juice – anything citrusy).
Stir together and turn heat on high until it reaches a boil.
Once it comes to a rolling boil, turn the heat down to medium low and continue cooking over lower heat for about 15-20 minutes, or until the juice is thick. Smash some of the berries against the side of the pot to make the filling a bit smoother. Turn off the heat and set aside to cool.

Preheat the oven to 350. Cut dough ball into two parts and keep the part you’re not using in the fridge. Roll out one part into a large rectangle  Carefully pick rectangle up and put on a lined baking sheet. Spoon about a half cup of cranberry filling down the right side of the rectangle. Carefully fold the un-filled side (the left side) over the right. slice the cookies into the size you prefer & place on cookie sheet. Repeat with remaining dough & filling. 

Bake for 15-20 minutes (depending on size). or until golden. Let cool on cookie sheet before lightly dusting with powdered sugar. 

Source: inspired by Eat, Live, Run & Pioneer Woman
Listening to: Steve Martin & Edie Brickell "When You Get To Ashville"

Currently? Sitting in the sunshine, braving the winds whipping my scarf, blouse, & hair about, threatening to remove them in one swift current.  

Sir Weather, I know the sun is warm, and my skin is pale, but there is no need to disrobe me. I'm perfectly happy the way I left the house this morning, thank you very much. 

I can't really help but sit in the sun, even if it is barely touching the 50 F mark. It's a Saturday off (what what & hella holla!) & I am soaking as much as I can out of this day! Upon waking there were cuddles, a work out (humble brag-woaa woaa), breakfast & the Word, tilling & turning the garden & compost, and I really wanted to write you people. I figured I should bake something first though. Coming before you empty handed is rarely acceptable. And with the sun above & the promise of spring in these whipping winds, my brain turned to scones. Delicate scones. The kind fit for a queen, or a girl on a day off. The kind of scones that can delicately shout petite things, giving on an innocent but grown up vibe. You're dang right these scones have vibes. 

The lavender in my cupboard was whispering, & the blueberries were responding. Once I realized they were calling to each other, my match-making spirit set into motion. They would be divine together. But just to make certain they were stuck together for good (you know, that whole " . . . what God has joined together, let no man separate" thing), I drizzled the tops with honey, for a sweetness & sticky conviction that would be an example to others what can happen when two good things come together & vow not to separate. Now, I do realize that God did not join blueberries and lavender together, and I do realize this particular passage is talking about marriage. But in the spirit of getting swept up in a love story about these two components, allow me this creative freedom, eh? Thanks friends. I appreciate that you bear my ridiculousness sometimes/ all of the time.  

Grated, cold butter & a gently patted out dough, studded with juicy fruit 
(not the gum-that's weird). 

Can I go back a bit & share a bit of my heart? Cool thanks. 

A few nights ago I was closing up the coffee shop, sweeping the space & thinking about nothing in particular. Whether it was a song playing or a moment I was recalling, I'm not sure, but I started thinking about how this generation, the 20 somethings & 30 somethings,  have lost any regard for the meaning of commitment to another person. Our parents, grandparents, & great-grandparents were somehow able to stay married to one another, despite hardships & differences. These days we don't give someone a second glance unless they fit every requirement on our "perfect partner" list, and if somehow they disappoint us, let us down, or start to change into someone that we didn't expect or can't control, we label it as an "irreconcilable difference" and start the search for someone new, someone who we think will fill & complete us, someone who will make happy. It's an unrelenting cycle. 

Now, I am aware I have only been married for five months, & even though married life is incredible, it's been rough sometimes! Communication between two completely different, fallen & finite individuals require patience & grace.  I am full aware that Matt & I are going to face hardships, struggles, dry spells, tough choices, & downright hard life together. But really? I love this guy so much. 

How incredible would it be if this generation has a switch, and was all of a sudden known for their commitment to one another & their commitment to their marriage? My mind was reeling and getting stoked on starting a revival, one that influenced marriages across the country, simply by being vocal about our love for one another, our struggles, and being accountable to outside influences who could speak truth into our lives. As I'm loving the idea of getting swept up into something bigger, I felt God tell me quietly, "You both already are swept up into something bigger . . . you're married." Marriage: being a picture on earth of Christ & the church. Loving each other with a Christ love & serving each other. Marriage is so much bigger than us. 


Sigh. A mouth full & a heart full. I got even more stoked as I recounted my heart to Matt that evening. God is good, life is good, & sometimes my heart swells because of it. 

Thanks for allowing me to share. Want to hear more about scones? Of course you do. 

Imperfect small scones. There is a beauty in a scone that is almost as tall as it is wide. 

Quaint & delicious. 
Also, Matt made me that serving tray with his new tools. I'm reaping the benefits of his new toys. 

Blueberry Lavender Honey Scones
makes 12 small scones

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp. granulated sugar
2 tsp. lavender buds
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup cold unsalted butter, grated
1 large egg, lightly beaten
3/4 cup cold buttermilk
1 cup fresh blueberries
3 tablespoons buttermilk for brushing the tops of the scones before baking
granulated sugar for sprinkling on top before baking
honey for drizzling on top before baking

Place a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or grease with butter and set aside.

In a mixing bowl, rub the granulated sugar & the lavender together with your fingertips. This helps the lavender release its fragrance & flavor. Add sifted flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Using your fingertips, rub the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles a coarse meal.  Work the butter into the dry ingredients until some of the butter flakes are the size of peas and some are the size of oat flakes.  In another bowl, combine egg, and milk and beat lightly with a fork.  Add to flour mixture all at once, stirring enough to make a soft dough.  Gently fold in the blueberries.

Turn out onto a floured board and knead about 15 times.  Roll or pat out into a 1-inch thickness.  Cut into 2-inch rounds using a round cutter or cut into 2×2-inch squares.  Reshape and roll dough to create more scones with excess scraps.    Place on an ungreased baking sheet.  Brush lightly with buttermilk, sprinkle with granulated sugar, & drizzle with honey. Bake for 14-18 minutes or until golden brown on top.  Serve warm.  Scones are best the day they’re made, and though they can be frozen and lightly reheated in the oven.


Source: adapted from Joy the Baker
Listening to: The Lone Bellow   (seriously addicted to these guys!)

So, I have this secret wish that I could take pictures with my eyeballs. Or, at least have a pair of contacts that could take pictures, edit them to perfection with just a thought, and have them sent & organized on my computer, all in one swift move. I also wish that the thoughts I have during baking & cooking could be recorded, because inevitably, I lose at least 57% of cleverness & wit when I have to postpone & write after I'm done baking/cooking. Oh, also! While we are in this land, I want to wiggle my nose, cross my arms, & blink (that's how they do it, right?) and my post to be uploaded. I want my website redesigned. I want my traffic to increase. I want people to be able to find my recipes effortlessly. I want my job to be recipe developing & writing. Now, really, is that too much to ask? ;) 

I know, all those things take either time & skill, a lot of patience, or another person workin' for ya. Well, we'll see. Right now I'm just happy to be here with you folks. 

Oh, ya, this is where I've been spending most of my time the past month. This pic was taken the week before opening. If you walked in today, the cases would be filled with pastries, the menu would actually be hanging on the wall properly, & I would be there ready to make you a scraped americano. Because, you know, we're friends. 

Last week, while doing my weekly big grocery shop, I found a giant hunk of meat. No, not a dude. Literally, a 14lb. bone-in pork shoulder (please read that & try to keep your mind clean. Good luck). 

Not really sure what I was doing, I bought the thing, knowing full well that I do not own a roasting pan, it is way too big for the slow cooker, & the largest piece of oven equipment I own is a giant cookie sheet. So I went home and googled "what the heck do you do with a bone-in pork shoulder?!" After a bit of searching Tyler Florence (or T-Flo, for you JTB & Shutts listeners) gave me some inspiration to make my own dry rub for the meat. 

Paprika that I brought back from Hungary, dry mustard, garlic powder, sea salt, & a healthy bit of brown sugar make magic.

Wrapped up with a hefty amount of aluminum foil, oven ready. 

Make-as-you-go pulled pork sliders. Grab a baguette & whatever the heck you want! I was in the mood for sauteed onions with garlic, sauteed & fresh green peppers, sharp cheddar, & cilantro. Really, at this point, the possibilities as endless! 

What sort of slider mood are you in? 

Pulled Pork Roast, Shoulder 

5 tablespoons paprika
3-4 tablespoon garlic powder
5 tablespoon brown sugar
3 tablespoon dry mustard
4-5 tablespoons sea salt
14 lb. pork roast, preferably shoulder or Boston butt
     *The amount of rub used will change according to the size of your piece of meat

Mix the paprika, garlic power, brown sugar, dry mustard, and salt together in a small bowl. Rub the spice blend all over the pork, including crevices. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour, or up to overnight.

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F. Put the pork in a roasting pan (*this is the proper procedure! I didn't have this equipment, but if you have it, use it!) and roast it for about 6 hours. An instant-read thermometer stuck into the thickest part of the pork should register 170 degrees F, but basically, what you want to do is to roast it until it's falling apart.

Let the meat rest for an hour, allowing it to cool a bit so you can "pull" the meat. While the pork is still warm, grab two forks. Using one to steady the meat, use the other to "pull" shreds of the meat. At some points, it might be easier to use your fingers. 

I set aside what we were going to have for dinner that night, and portioned out the rest of the meat to freeze. Having portioned pulled pork for sandwiches, pasta, pizza, rice bowl, or whatever, comes in so handy! Especially after long days. Comfort food at its finest, my friends. 

Source: adapted from Food Network
Listening to: dialogue from Julie & Julia

There are a few things that have taken up most of my brain lately . . . inspiration from life, goals for my/our future, things I want to stuff in my face . . . you know, the usual. 

Grapefruit donuts. Holy cow & yes please. I need to try these! Yeasted, sweet, fruity dough. I have a feeling these will possibly cause me to give Emma from A Beautiful Mess a hug. I might hold on for a couple seconds too long. They might just be that good. 

The Simple Mom podcast. No, I'm thoroughly aware I am not a mother yet (& this is so not the way I would subtly break the news!), but Tsh Oxenreider is a smart lady. She hosts weekly guests & they chat about life as a blog author, writing books, traveling & living around the globe, being an entrepreneur, time management, and all the while being a wife & mother. It's just real-life, real-talk, and refreshingly honest. Super encouraging. 

Tracy from Shutterbean has the key to my heart & my brain!!! Organizing notebooks for your to-do's, inspiration, & the like?!?! Don't mind if I do. 

I am so inspired by Love Taza! I have been reading her blog for a few years now, which has evolved & grown from mostly fashion to pregnancy to kids. The way she loves her kiddos & her simple, joy-filled approach to life is so encouraging! Beautiful life. 

My husband. He's a daily encouragement, & the way he loves God & people inspires me. I loving finding my heart & home in him. 

So, those are a few things that have been swimming around my head. Where do you find your daily inspiration & encouragement? 

I know what you are thinking . . . "That last post was quite thoughtful & riveting, but I sure hope she's got a recipe for us this time around . . . "

I do, friends. I do. 

These ding-dang bad boys taste like heaven in a flaky, buttery, rich dough whose only explanation can be outrageous amounts of butter & eggs. 

I woke up at 5am, 3 hours before my alarm on my day off, to make these. You see, I made the brioche dough the night before. Which means it was in its second rise (the overnight rise) in my fridge, anticipating becoming a cinnamon roll. I had promised the dough as I was kneading it that would be its future, & I couldn't stand the thought of letting it down. 

As I made the dough the night before, I was amazed. It seemed as if I just kept adding butter. A sure sign that things are headed in the right direction. 

Rolls & toes & tea towel = comfy breakfast palette.

Also, my husband didn't know what a palette was! As a kid, making a palette on the floor meant a sleepover, a picnic, an excuse to lay out a blanket & camp out for a bit. To him, strictly construction. Webster was very helpful on this . . . we were both right. 

We had this discussion last weekend when we went to Tacoma to visit friends. We drove down on a Saturday afternoon, picking up another dear friend along the way, & drove to Tacoma. It was sunny & slightly warm & perfect. We had dinner, drinks, laughed, recalled stories of when we all lived together in Scotland, & chatted about what the future held for each of us. BC bound for now for us, Romania for them, & transition period for another. God has been so good to each of us on our journeys, & I am so grateful that our paths have crossed at all.  The next morning we got up, had breakfast, & hit the road again. A whirlwind trip that filled my soul & refreshed my spirit. Worth it. 

Road trip & handsome husband. I love him. 

Risen, ready for baking. 

The recipe may seem extensive, but trust me, it's worth it. And after a couple times, you totally get the hang & rhythm of it. 

Depending on your mood, your soundtrack to cinnamon rolls may change. 

If it's a slightly melancholy baking session, "Wait," by Alexi Murdoch will do nicely. It's ok; sometimes I cry while I'm baking too. 

If you're full of energy, "We Are Young," by Fun. will do the trick, even if you've heard the song a gazillion times (because, face it, I think we all have). Even busting out Nate Ruess' previous band, The Format would be acceptable/radical. 

If it's just a day, a normal baking time, & you have no inclination to any mood, it's a toss up between Of Monsters & Men & The Black Keys. Silence & sunrise will also fit this bill. 

Enjoy. xx

Brioche Cinnamon Rolls
{makes 12}
THE SPONGE
1/3 cup warm whole milk (100- 110 degrees F)
2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 large egg
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

THE DOUGH
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 large eggs, lightly beaten, room temp
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (approx)
6 ounces unsalted butter, room temperature

Put the milk, yeast, egg and 1 cup of the flour in the bowl of a heavy duty mixer.
Mix the ingredients together with a rubber spatula, mixing just until everything is blended.
Sprinkle over the remaining cup of flour to cover the sponge.
Set the sponge aside to rest uncovered for 30-40 minutes.
After this resting time, the flour coating will crack, your indication that everything is moving along properly.

Add the sugar, salt, eggs, and 1 cup of the flour to the sponge.
Set in the mixer, attach the dough hook, and mix on low speed for a minute or two, just until the ingredients look as if they are about to come together.
Still mixing, sprinkle in 1/2 cup more flour.
When the flour is incorporated, increase the mixer speed to medium and beat for about 15 minutes, stopping to scrape down the hook and bowl as needed.

During this mixing period, the dough should come together, wrap itself around the hook and slap the sides of the bowl. In order to incorporate the butter into the dough, you must work the butter until it is the same consistency as the dough.
You can bash the butter into submission with a rolling pin or give it kinder and gentler handling by using a dough scraper to smear it bit by bit across a smooth work surface.
When it is ready, the butter will be smooth, soft, and still cool- not warm, oily or greasy.
With the mixer on medium-low speed, add the butter a few tablespoons at a time.

This is the point at which you'll think you've made a huge mistake, because the dough that you worked so hard to make smooth will fall apart- don't worry, don't panic- carry on.

When all of the butter has been added, raise the mixer speed to medium-high for a minute, then reduce the speed to medium and beat the dough for about 5 minutes, or until you once again hear the dough slapping against the sides of the bowl.
Clean the sides of the bowl frequently as you work; if it looks as though the dough is not coming together after 2-3 minutes, add up to 1 tablespoon more flour.
When you're finished, the dough should feel somewhat cool.
It will be soft and sill sticky and may cling slightly to the sides and bottom of the bowl.

FIRST RISE: Transfer the dough to a very large buttered bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and let it rise at room temperature until doubled in bulk, 2- 2 1/2 hours.

SECOND RISE AND CHILL: Deflate the dough by placing your fingers under it, lifting a section of dough, and then letting it fall back into the bowl.

Work your way around the circumference of the dough, lifting and releasing.

Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate the dough overnight, or for at least 4-6 hours, during which time it will continue to rise and may double in size again.

AFTER THIS LONG CHILL, THE DOUGH IS READY TO USE IN ANY BRIOCHE RECIPE.

Good morning! Now . . . 
Line a 13x9 glass pan with parchment paper; set aside. 

In a small bowl, mix 1 cup packed brown sugar & 2 1/2 Tbsp cinnamon together. Set aside.

Pull the dough from the fridge & dump out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead a couple times with hands, then roll into a horizontal rectangle, about 1/2-1/3" thick. Using a pastry brush, spread 1/4-1/3 cup melted butter around the entire surface (leave the seam edge farthest from you bare, but only by 1/4". That way the dough will adhere.) Sprinkle brown sugar + cinnamon mixture on top of the butter. Go over the filling with the rolling pin/ your hands to make sure it is packed on well. Starting from the long edge closest to your body, roll up the dough tightly (but not too tightly).  Cut each roll about 1/2″ thick.  Be careful when cutting the rolls as you don’t want to flatten the roll.  Use a warm damp sharp knife (dip the knife into a bowl of warm water, or hold it under warm water from the faucet) and dab it onto a towel to dry off excess water.  Then using a wide sawing motion, and gently holding one side of the roll, cut one slice.  You’ll need to repeat that process with each slice, being sure to wipe off any dough and cinnamon on the knife before proceeding. Place the rolls in the prepared 13x9 pan as you are slicing them. 

After placing the rolls in the pan, they’ll need to be left in a warm place again to rise until doubled in size.  This takes about an hour.

Preheat the oven to 350F and place the pan in the oven when the rolls are ready.  Bake for 14-20 minutes or until golden.

While baking, prepare the 
Cream Cheese Glaze:

4 tablespoons softened unsalted butter
3/4 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons (or 1 ounce) softened cream cheese
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
pinch of salt

Place all the ingredients into a bowl and use an electric mixer to mix until fluffy.  

As soon as the rolls came out of the oven, put a dollop on top of each roll, let it melt for a minute, then spread the dollops over the rolls.

Source: brioche adapted from Julia Child, cinnamon roll bit roughly adapted from Sweetest Kitchen

Oh sheesh. I've been having one of those "I seriously don't know if I'm cut out for this" type of snowballing thoughts. Even as I type if though, I feel gross about it. I would much rather have happy go lucky "look at those beautiful dang biscuits yo!" type of post. Sometimes, that is the life I wish I lived. 

Really, I wish I just knew everything and would stop making so many dang mistakes. 

I mean, I know we are all human, so therefore, we are going to mess up. That's the sinful nature of humans side of things, which is a road that is a theological discussion which ends up in how much we need the love of Jesus. Which is true, but not really what I'm referring to. 

I'm talking about mistakes in the kitchen. Mistakes in how I organize or forget to organize. Mistakes in trusting the wrong recipes & the wrong people, and my tasteless, cardboard muffin is the result of an untested or simply blah recipe that someone posted as "the best." Especially when there is pressure to have the right, delicious, have-you-wanting-more type of product. There is a weird expectation & pressure to simply just "have" all this knowledge & know how already in your brain, ready to be extracted and baked out. 

This is false. You get those tidbits and that knowledge by producing the wrong thing, finding where you went wrong, and righting it. 

Feeling that pressure & failing sucks. Fact. 

Going through photos I've taken, trying my best to muster something worthwhile for this post. Because I have many items that rank about a 4 or 5 on a scale of ten I could show you. Blueberry cream scones that get a bit swirly & look delicious? They taste like nothing. Chai chocolate vegan scones? They look like cardboard; they taste like cardboard. & that brown butter shortbread you anticipated & dreamed about? If you dreamed it was dry & almost weirdly powdery, then yes, you are spot on. 

Don't get me wrong, there was a bit of redemption in coconut & chocolate scones, & brioche cinnamon rolls will make an appearance soon (soon . . . yum). But for now, even though I feel as this was a bit of a dump, it was also a wee glimpse into my heart & my life, and just letting you know that in no way do I have it all together. I have been the victim of reading blogs & wondering how in the world those ladies have their picture perfect life so wonderful & charming & organized & delicious & {insert slightly jealous adjective here}. Those people do inspire me, but it doesn't give a license for comparison. 

My final advice to you is to invest in a lovely baguette, a few crumbles of goat cheese, a juicy tomato, & bourbon on the rocks. Who cares if it is 3pm? Consider it one of the perks of being a grown up. Relish in the fact that you will, indeed, exist to try again. You will have the resolve to not identify yourself by your mistakes. & yes, you are never alone in this. 

Happy adventuring & living, friends. I'll be back with cinnamon rolls. 

xx

Dear 2012, 

So, I'm going to come out with it-you were great . . . so great! You gave me an amazing job at an amazing coffee shop with even more amazing people. A family & community at a workplace. Beyond blessed to be a part of them. Thanks. 

You gave me a chance to hang out with my family, something I haven't done in a couple years (due to being overseas). Those moments are cherished in the best part of my brain. 

You introduced me to a boy, & somehow convinced that boy to keep writing and keep calling. He flew down, I flew up. Engaged. He flew down again. Married. I flew up. New life. 

Whirlwind? You betcha. Happy? Beyond belief. 

So, 2012, you've been pretty great. I am looking forward to getting to know & embracing your friend 2013. I think it'll be something to write home about. 

Oh, and thanks for letting us walk the streets & parks drinking champagne in the freezing cold snow during your last moments. Epic & lovely. 

Sincerely, 
me. xx

This ain't no jet-puffed, marshmallow creme nonsense. This is elbow grease, trust, peppermint extract, amazement, and patience. 

Fact: I made marshmallows! I felt like superwoman. Even though I slung marshmallow batter across my laptop screen, a load of groceries, my shirt front, and part of a window, these were a success. 

I know, they may seem like magic, but they are easy peasy lemon-squeezy!

We house sat for friends and babysat their dog. I'm a little in love with this little Joy monster. 

One giant marshmallow, drizzled with chocolate. Put that in your pipe. 

Sliced into respective sizes with a pizza roller, then rolled in a bit of powdered sugar & cornstarch. For good measure. 

Up close & personal. Softer than a pillow, tastier than most things. 

I don't have picture of the during process, because if I slung the batter around enough without the camera, I don't want to see the post-marshmallow kitchen if I was trying to multi-task. I'll leave that to the pros. 

So, if the nights are getting dark way too early for your liking, take this chance to put your house shoes on, squeeze the last moments out of your Christmas decorations, whip up these marshmallows, & make some a mug of hot chocolate. New Thursday night traditions? Yes please. 

Homemade Peppermint Marshmallows
makes: 7 dozen (ish-depending on your marshmallow size)
3 packages unflavored gelatin
1 cup ice cold water, divided
12 ounces granulated sugar, approximately 1 1/2 cups
1 cup light corn syrup
1/4 tsp kosher salt
just under 1 tsp peppermint extract
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
Nonstick spray
1/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted

Place the gelatin into the bowl of a stand mixer along with 1/2 cup of the water. Have the whisk attachment standing by.

In a small saucepan combine the remaining 1/2 cup water, granulated sugar, corn syrup and salt. Place over medium high heat, cover and allow to cook for 3 to 4 minutes. Uncover, clip a candy thermometer onto the side of the pan and continue to cook until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F, approximately 7 to 8 minutes. Once the mixture reaches this temperature, immediately remove from the heat.

Turn the mixer on low speed and, while running, slowly pour the sugar syrup down the side of the bowl into the gelatin mixture. Once you have added all of the syrup, increase the speed to high. Continue to whip until the mixture becomes very thick and is lukewarm, approximately 12 to 15 minutes. Add the peppermint extract during the last minute of whipping. While the mixture is whipping prepare the pans as follows.

Combine the confectioners’ sugar and cornstarch in a small bowl. Lightly spray a 13 by 9-inch metal baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. Add the sugar and cornstarch mixture and move around to completely coat the bottom and sides of the pan. Return the remaining mixture to the bowl for later use.

At this time, melt the chocolate chips in a small metal bowl over a pot of boiling water. 

When ready, pour the mixture into the prepared pan, using a lightly oiled spatula for spreading evenly into the pan. Spoon or drizzle melted chocolate onto marshmallows and use a toothpick to swirl the into the marshmallows. Dust the top with enough of the remaining sugar and cornstarch mixture to lightly cover. Reserve the rest for later. Allow the marshmallows to sit uncovered for at least 4 hours and up to overnight.

Turn the marshmallows out onto a cutting board and cut into 1-inch squares using a pizza wheel dusted with the confectioners’ sugar mixture. Once cut, lightly dust all sides of each marshmallow with the remaining mixture, using additional if necessary. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 weeks.

Source: adapted from The Motherload
Listening to: The Honey Trees, "Moon River" 

Christmas is past. What? So. Weird. 

We still have our tree & "Christmas Corner" set up in our apartment, not quite ready to take it down. 

Like I said before, it was Matt & my first Christmas together-woot! However, this was only my second year being apart from my family on Christmas, which was a little tough & different. Strict Christmas traditions (i.e. singing together at the Eve service at church, camping out in the living room the night before, etc.) have been broken, but we are starting new ones, tailoring them to "us." The community & family I have connected with has been amazing though; I wouldn't trade it! God knows what he is doing.

Christmas lovin'. Christmas hike with the parents' pup. Christmas camp out. Christmas movie time. 

This was one of the treats I gave to a handful of friends for Christmas They were simple & irresistible! Deep chocolate & subtle sweet. 

Shell those pistachios like a mad woman. Nuts among the rubble. 

Dipped in melted semi-sweet chocolate & sprinkled with sea salt is my favorite feature on delicious nuggets of glory. 

It was a good thing that I had to give these away, because they were quickly becoming the comfort I would think about when the cold persisted. Black coffee or a strong & creamy earl grey tea would go perfect with one {or two} of these treats. And of course, someone to rub your toes warm, start a fire, & share them with. 

Chocolate Pistachio Biscotti
makes: approximately 24

1-2/3 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened good quality cocoa powder
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
3/4 cup whole pistachios
2 oz butter (1/4 cup), softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar 
2 large eggs

Preheat oven to 375°. Line baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt. Add pistachios, and mix.

In a mixer, mix butter and sugar on medium speed for 1-1/2 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time.

Add the dry ingredients and mix on low speed until just combined to make a dough.

Remove the dough and using your hands, divide the dough into two or three pieces and form into long flat shapes about 8 long x 1-1/2 inches wide. Place on the lined baking sheets and bake 16 minutes.

When cool enough to handle, gently cut the loaves on the angle into 1/2 inch slices (a serrated bread knife works best). Return to the baking sheet fitting as many as you can on the baking sheet, you may need to do this in batches. Bake the biscotti for another 3-4 minutes on each side, less if you like it softer. 

Source: adapted from Skinnytaste
Listening to: Les Miserables soundtrack {see the movie. listen to the music. change your life.}

"I want to love you all year long . . . 
I want to hold you when the snow's all gone . . . 
(source)

I want to be here when winter's done . . . 
I want to love you all year long."
(source)

I've spent the past few days baking, being, watching snow fall, listening to the above mentioned album on repeat (sorry babe), and wrapping a few presents for friends. When I say presents, I mean the kind of present that you make (er, bake) because that is what your budget allows you to do & what you love to do. Bonus: getting to bake and not have it lying around the house for me to munch on and my savory-loving husband to watch me munch on. 

Summer tans & raspberry mojitos. 
Pre-engagement & Salt Spring Island dinner dates. 
Remembering the sun while watching the rain & snow . . . 

Back to Christmas. Yes, it's still almost upon us!!! I am so excited to be having a white Christmas this year. Back in Springfield, we rarely had a good snow that stuck to the ground without turning to slippy ice. 

What else went into these Christmas gift jars, you ask?

Chocolate Pistachio Biscotti. 
(incomplete without a sprinkling of sea salt)

Apple Fritters. 

Peppermint Chocolate Marshmallows.

Orange Zest Shortbread. 
(my dear friend Heather is drizzling chocolate over them. Smart, lovely lady)

& of course, candied almond & chocolate blondies (pictured in jar). 

Add these up, & it's merry christmas in a jar. 

This was the first time I have ever made shortbread. 

Butter + flour + sugar = done. Simple simple! In the spirit of Christmas, I thought orange zest was appropriate & lovely. Rubbing the zest into the sugar before it is creamed into the butter allows the zest to release its fragrance & flavor more than if you simply just mixed it into the batter at the end of the mixing process. 

I'll be posting recipes for all these treats throughout the rest of the week! But for now, get on the shortbread train. 

Orange Zest Shortbread
makes approximately 24 bars, depending on size

1 1/2 cup (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan
3 cups all-purpose flour
1-1 1/4 teaspoon coarse sea salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2-2 tablespoon orange zest
2/3 cup semi-sweet or dark chocolate chips or chunks, melted over a double boiler (optional)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Place parchment paper in a 13 x 9 cake pan, or grease with butter. Sift together flour and salt in a small bowl. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer on medium, cream butter until fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. Rub orange zest into sugar until fragrant. Add sugar, and continue to beat until very light in color and fluffy, scraping down sides of bowl as necessary, about 2 minutes more. Add flour mixture, and beat on low, scraping bowl if necessary, until flour is just incorporated and dough sticks together when squeezed.

Pat dough into prepared pan. Use a paring knife to score dough into bars; prick all over in even intervals with a wooden skewer or fork.

Bake until firm in the center and just starting to color, about 50 minutes. Transfer pan to a wire rack, and let cool completely. 

Melt chocolate in a stainless steel bowl over a small saucepan of boiling water. Drizzle melted chocolate over shortbread with a fork until desired design or amount is applied. Once cooled a bit, cut into bars. 

Cookies will keep, in an airtight container, at room temperature 3 weeks.

Source: adapted from Martha Stewart
Listening to : Hey, It's Christmas! Volume Three