It's overcast and chilly for the 5th day in a row in the middle of June, & Im grumpy.
I work 8-10 hours a day on my feet, so I come home too tired to think about cleaning the house or working out.
I want to finish the stack of books sitting on my nightstand, but I get one page in, and already my eyes are fading from the day.
I want to write & recipe develop more, but I after spending enormous time in the kitchen at work, my creative levels are at their low & I'm having a hard enough time coming up with something to feed our family for dinner.
See what I mean? Reactions. I need to constantly live on purpose, and it seems I lose motivation to do anything but coast. Honestly & frankly, I hate that about myself. I "should" have an endless amount of resource & inspiration, creativity & outlets. A lot of times, when I find myself living this way, I search for a regimen of sorts, something to keep me in line. I am convinced now that is not the way it works, and I can't rely on a list of checks for my motivation. As much as I love lists, there is very little heart and passion for simply ticking a box for ticking's sake.
There are so many things to be thankful for in life, & it constantly amazes me how quickly I get stuck within my own head. Making excuses for not doing things, or not cutting myself enough slack when I don't live up to ridiculous rules I've created for my life. None of that is sustainable for long without going completely crazy.
These things always have a bigger hold on my when it's only in my own head & heart. Sin has a way of doing that! I can have struggles that seem so huge to me, and when I confess & confide in Matt or a close friend, immediately a burden is lifted, and I can see my situation and thoughts more objectively. It becomes small in comparison to everything else. Why do we keep things to ourselves and think we can hot-dog it through life, thinking we've got to get through it alone? Community is a must.
I crave this pasta quite often. Spring comfort food at its max.
Can I show you a bit of craftiness before we part?
Carrot Ribbon Fettuccine
4-5 medium sized carrots
8 ounces fettuccine pasta
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 lemon (with zest removed for garnish)
1/4 cup shredded parmesan (plus a little more for garnish)
1 handful baby spinach, torn
Coarse sea salt
Peel the carrot skin and discard. Then, working from top to bottom, peel thin ribbons from the carrots. Spin the carrot as you go to get similar width strips (the remaining cores can be used for a salad later).
Cook and drain the pasta.
In a large skillet, sautee´ the carrot ribbons with 2T olive oil and a pinch of salt until they become just slightly limp (about 3 minutes on medium heat). Turn the heat to low and add the cooked pasta to the skillet. Add the juice from 1 lemon, 2 more tablespoons of olive oil, spinach, and 1/4 c shaved parmesan. Toss to combine, then plate.
Garnish each plate of pasta with a pinch each of: lemon zest, coarse salt, and parmesan.